Photo by Heather Hanson
I have a lot of free-floating anxiety these days, most likely because I think I’ve successfully transcended some significant emotional crutches. Yet after relying on them so long, I feel a void; I don’t know what to do with the mental space it created.
When the anxiety takes over and I can’t identify the cause (or there are many causes weaved together), I noticed that I rely on a particular visualization – an out of body experience. I began doing this almost unconsciously a long time ago, but recently started to pay closer attention when I realized it helped release the restriction in my chest and slow the swirling thoughts.
To bring it to life a bit more, I tried to capture the feeling in words. The more vivid the sensation feels, the faster I can calm myself.
Flash of life and death,
Pins and needles climb my scalp.
Expectant silence.
Limbs braid, spin skyward.
My heart dissolves in
a radiant burst of light.
Compelled to let go.
Body cast off like snake-skin;
No lungs enclosing my breath.
Stretching, expanding
I fade; the final notes still
reverberating.